Saturday, November 15, 2008
Gollum Investigates: Cellulite
If Mischa Barton has cellulite, then what hope do I, a 55 year old cheesecake addict, have?
I decided to go underground and investigate cellulite--and to find alternative cures. I won't get into the causes of "orange peel skin," but if you are interested, you can read all about it at Cellulite Treatment Dot Org.
If you're like me, cellulite doesn't need a definition, although you can find one in Wiki.
Not even the stars are immune:
The media loves to stalk cellulite-prone celebrities:
But is there really a cure?
Thermage is a new method that uses a laser to dissolve cellulite. Available through a physician, each treatment can take a chunk out of your pocketbook--$4000.
Dermatologists are eagerly awaiting the FDA's approval on an ultrasound machine that supposedly zaps both fat AND cellulite.
Okay, what if time, energy, and money prevent you from indulging in these medical miracles? Well, apparently a few DIY methods are still around. Spa Wraps are affordable and, some say, effective ($80-$200)
New Fangled Anti-Cellulite Creams are all the rage, in all price ranges:
Soap & Glory Slimwear Puff Draining Peptide cream $13
Korres Garcinia and Guarana toning Cream, $38
Boots No 7 Protect & Perfect Body Serum, $25
Chanel Body Excellence Firmign and Refining Serum, $120
Bliss Fat Girl Sleep, $38
I, Gollum, have done exhaustive research on the subject. I recommend a different sort of cream-related items:
Me, I would rather spend $$ on cute little cream pitchers.
Or I might listen to deliciously poofy music
How about an antique Nortiake whipped cream bowl and ladle from Replacements Ltd (price unavailable)?
Or what about this darling silver cream pitcher from Ruby Lane? ($58)
this antique cat pitcher is adorable
However, if you aren't in the mood for pitchers, I highly recommend a cream cake:
Or double cream from Devon (available at Publix in their British foods section):
But cellulite seems to be part of the natural world. A cellulite sky is a beautiful thing to behold:
It's all about how we look at the world, and ourselves--what we feel in the heart trumphs how the world sees us. We should all celebrate--and eat cake. :-)